


Silent Night

by TheTruthBetween-Archive (TheTruthBetween)



Category: Sons of Mistletoe (2001)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-02
Updated: 2005-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthBetween/pseuds/TheTruthBetween-Archive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen's thoughts after Jimmy and the boys leave on Christmas Eve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

> The references to Justin and Keith are from my earlier SoM fic, 'Changing Colors'

I never realized before how quiet this house is. It's only been half an hour since Jimmy and the boys left, but it seems so empty. 

'Don't get too attached, Helen.' 

I heard the words inside my head, like I have so many times before, but this time I stop and wonder… are they right? 

Will it really hurt me to get attached to Jimmy? To Wylie? To Benny and Victor and Alex and Howard and Evan and Miguel? 

'Remember what happened the last time you got attached?' 

But that was in university. I've grown since then. Jimmy isn't looking for anything from me. 

'Oh isn't he? Don't you remember when you first met him?' 

I can't help but smile as I remember. I can picture myself teasing him about his first words to me for years to come. "Wow… you are hot." They still sound like they came from a 14-year-old, but it **is** flattering. 

'That's not what I meant, Helen. Don't you remember? "You want money." "Wouldn't have put the tie on if I didn't." How can you say he doesn't want anything from you? You gave him the house, yes, but he still needs money for food for the boys, and clothes. You're that money, Helen.' 

No. Jimmy's not like that! 

'Neither was Justin.' 

It suddenly occurs to me that this voice I've been listening to for years sounds like Keith. Somehow that's not surprising. Even when he was still alive he liked to play Devil's Advocate. 

I wonder if I could ever get used to being called Helen Adams… Whoa! Where did **that** thought come from?! 

Although… now that I've thought it… it doesn't sounds that bad. 

'Helen, what are you thinking?! Get married?! You still have your whole life ahead of you! You could be the head of your own company!' 

Already am. 

'You could be worth millions!' 

Seventeen million, actually. 

'You could have any man you want!' 

Like Jimmy. 

'No!' 

Oh my God… I **do** want Jimmy! I knew… that I liked him… could I really love him? 

'You don't know the first thing about love, Helen! You know you'd just screw it up!' 

Jimmy knows about love. He loves those boys. He loved Wylie's mother, I'm sure. And I think he may even love me. 

'Why would he love **you**?!' 

I really don't know… but I know I want him to. I know I want to love him. I know I could love him. I know… I think… I do love him?


End file.
